you work as a mirror of me

sometimes i look into your eyes
and see my own heart reflected there
the depths in the looking glass
of your steady, lidded gaze
reveal my lack of dimension
all my colour comes from your light.

those are the times when i cannot tell
what i love more: you
or your love
i cannot face you,
only watch your face, observe
the sweep of your eyelashes
and contemplate your being silently;
i wonder if you see yourself
when your stare meets mine,
the way i search your eyes for me
your brightness, the rainbow
sun of your heart, casts shadows
that taint the joy you have given me.

i am frightened to admit to myself
that i am starting to love you.
i would rather hide behind words,
pull poems into the shape of shelter
and avoid any touch that tests
the strength or truth of my feelings.
how do i know what i feel
when i have spent a lifetime fleeing emotion?
whenever you stare into my eyes,
i look away, unwilling
to answer to myself your unasked questions.

your eyes are a window to my soul,
but it is too beautiful for me to look at
and i only see the fragility
of my reflection.
your light becomes mine.