i am your playboy rabbit
i accept this role in society
with gracious humility
i will wrak havoc forever on you all
i will shit on the table of my host
while singing grateful praise of the meal
i will bleed the hand that bites me
i am playboy rabbit
the crusader of rags
i will rewrite all the messages on your fortune cookies
instructing you to dial ecstasy for the dialectic
i am the furry little clawed foot
you keep in your back pocket
the one that cuts deep into your ass
every time you sit down too fast
i am playboy rabbit,
i'll hop down your throat and suck your lungs dry...
you'll spit and cough and yell uncle.
i am your neighbor who plays sax and tap dances and yodels
and when you complain yells art in your face.
i am the silent deadly digital watch
that tells you the date,time,lunar phase
and astrological sign.
my tick is your itck
tickless cold dead feather rubbing up against the
soft spot on the inside of our left nostril.
i am your therapist and lover
curing you once and for all of your
fears of riding up in elevators at the
Hyatt Regency
i am your dance teacher
explaining the secrets of the pelvis
your disks all slipped
you lie prostrate before me
while i demostrate the
boogaloo, the twist, the shimmy and the most mysterious
mouse.
im your Clint Eastwood you are my
Sunshine, my only sunshine
i come to you disguised as rabbit stew,
Lapin Roti,
all ears, pink furry cutesy ears
my carrot hand.
i ask you to tell me all
without hesitation. "what's up, doc?!!!"
i am your cab driver
your museum curator
your arts council audito
i am judgement day in a plastic no break no mess bottle.
i go to sleep with you naked
and wake up wrapped in the
biggest pampers you ever saw
i am Playboy Rabbit, Ricochet Rabbit,
Crusader Rabbit and Bugs Bunny.
i am your green, sweaty crumbling
wallet with twenty-two dollars,
a cancelled check and two coupons.
i 'm your panic button that says 'no'
i'm your logic button that says 'whoa'
i'm your belly button that says 'ho ho ho'
i am your playboy rabbit's foot
pressed between your wallet
and your ass
i am the font of wisdom
the hole that passes gas
you know now i have power
over you
i am your report card
your telephone bill
the meter maid
the Good Humor Man
i am a goddamn fudgesicle of July
i am your change of address card
i am a bag of Pepperidge Farm cookies
and a quart of milk,
Dylan's born-again christianity
and a dress made of blue silk.
i am heart of rabbit
and my pump will never stop
i am heart of rabbit
hop hop hop hop
hop hop hop
hop hop
hop